General

Getting respect as a male fa!

I am a size acceptance advocate and promoter of positivity and plus size fashion. I also just happen to be attracted to big girls. I run a blog on tumblr about this very thing for the most part it's been a positive experience and I love doing it. But I have to say I do get hate from time to time and yesterday just seemed to be one of those times.

I am a respectful person that just wants to show that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and that you don't have to hide the beauty that's inside. I have reblogged some bigcuties and bbw webmodels as well as some bellies and slight feedee stuff on occasion. I never post porn or nudity and I am always super nice and respectful With the comments I leave on others photos never anything sexual or gross. I've also posted about a NYC meet up group I want to start and also my plus size modeling campaign. I got so much hate from people yesterday (way more than normal) saying they felt uncomfortable and that I'm creepy. While I don't completely agree with them they are certainly entitled to their opinions and feelings but they kept putting me on blast telling people how awful I am and how much they hate me pretty much telling people to avoid me like the plague.

I get it I know people may not like how I go about things but how they are handling it isn't okay either. I've never been rude or mean to anyone so the way I'm getting hate just isn't fair. I've just ignored them because you really can't reason or try to explain yourself to certain people they have made up their mind about you without knowning or ever even talking to you before. I feel if I was a women I wouldn't be haven't this sorta problem. I feel like just because I'm a guy I'm made out to be fetishizing Women and I can't respect them for the person that they are but also be attracted to their beauty and body. Some people can't separate the two and make some women only feel like a piece of meat. But I want to get to know them for who they are not just their body.

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but this is an experience I've had. How does a guy get respect in the FA and size acceptance community without being considered creepy, gross, weird or having some sort of sick fetish? Thanks for taking the time to read this I hope we can all respect each and get along and have fat people and anyways in general be treated with the kindness they deserve!!
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

You haven't described what it is you did to get this negative reaction nor provide a link to your blog, so it's difficult to comment on your actual circumstances.

However I do feel that guys can sometimes get a hard time just for liking what they like. The thing is that we DO sometimes like to objectify women and/or men or aspects of their bodies, because we find it hot and it turns us on. I just believe it's the way some of us are made.

The politically correct brigade might tell us that this is sexist, demeaning and morally wrong, however I personally don't agree. Just because I may objectify someone whilst fantasizing over pictures, videos or when reading erotic stories, this does not mean that I can't treat them with equality and the respect they may deserve in my everyday interactions.

I also get tired of being made to feel guilty about the way nature made us, or made to feel creepy, gross or weird about it (as you seem to be saying). I can't see that there's anything wrong with admiring pictures of beautiful large women, or of feeling horny or sexy in what ever way suits you so long as it harms no-one.

Continue to respect yourself for what you are and don't let people run you down just because they don't understand or don't get you smiley
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

Yes I did I said that certain things I've posted have apparently made people hate me or feel uncomfortable. I just don't like that guys are given a bad rap and all lumped together. We are not all the same and shouldn't be treated as such. I would love to see a women do exactly what I did I'm sure she would get a different response. Some people don't want to take ownership of their actions like if you try and say that it could be caused by this or that they don't want to hear it and basically say you aren't respecting them. Like I have said that I believe some people have had bad experiences with guys before and use that on how they treat other guys when that's just not fair. I won't stop doing what I do I just wish things could be different.

My blog is fabulousandthick.tumblr.com sorry I didn't include it before.
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

Yes I suppose you can't please everyone and you just gotta stay true to yourself and be respectful and kind. I just feel in the size acceptance space women are treated better over all not saying I don't get respect and people who like what I do but I just feel women respect women more than men in this space and respect their intentions as good Almost always!
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

Your intentions are less important than the impact your actions have on others.

If women are skeeved by you reblogging their pictures alongside sexual imagery, don't ***ing reblog the pictures.
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

I know that people feel uncomfortable with some of what I post but now some people are saying my feelings don't matter like come on if you want respect and to feel safe you should be treating me nicely.
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

kingstreet2372 wrote:
I know that people feel uncomfortable with some of what I post but now some people are saying my feelings don't matter like come on if you want respect and to feel safe you should be treating me nicely.


There is no reason to treat you nicely when you show disrespect for others by ignoring their criticisms of your actions which are affecting them.

Especially when you've got a history of doing so and refusing to respect boundaries:
example 1a, 1b, 1c being the ongoing harassment of someone who's told you to leave them alone;
example 2 being a dismissive response to someone suggesting that you ask permission before reblogging in the manner that you do;
example 3 being someone's story about you repeatedly ignoring their asking you to stop;
example 4 being a description of various things you've done;
and example 5a, 5b, 5c, 5d, all reblogs of the same post, voicing how shitty your responses are.

And no, being a woman wouldn't make any of this easier, because then you'd have to deal with creeps such as yourself.
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

Well what I'm saying is they have the right to feel bad and I'm sorry if I ever made then feel uncomfortable but publically shamming me and making me feel down right horrible like I'm the worst person in the world isn't okay. Invalidating how I feel and saying that my feelings don't matter but they deserve respect but if I ask for it I'm not given it. Like no matter what I say or do I can't catch a break and it's all my fault. I said I'm sorry but still not left alone. Why spend your time with so much hate for me I've never talked or interacted with most of these people but they find it okay to call me named make me feel bad and I've never said anything negative or mean. Even if my comments (which are simply and nice) aren't wanted by some still doesn't make what they are saying okay. I have listened to people when told not to reblog them but I still get hate like I'm a monster so not cool.
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

kingstreet2372 wrote:
Well what I'm saying is they have the right to feel bad and I'm sorry if I ever made then feel uncomfortable but publically shamming me and making me feel down right horrible like I'm the worst person in the world isn't okay. Invalidating how I feel and saying that my feelings don't matter but they deserve respect but if I ask for it I'm not given it. Like no matter what I say or do I can't catch a break and it's all my fault. I said I'm sorry but still not left alone. Why spend your time with so much hate for me I've never talked or interacted with most of these people but they find it okay to call me named make me feel bad and I've never said anything negative or mean. Even if my comments (which are simply and nice) aren't wanted by some still doesn't make what they are saying okay. I have listened to people when told not to reblog them but I still get hate like I'm a monster so not cool.


You've straight up ignored when people ask you to stop interacting with them.

And you should be made to feel like a lousy person for that. They've tried telling you to knock it off in private and you just keep doing this stuff.

And it doesn't matter how sorry you say you are; you're clearly not sorry at all if you keep doing it.
10 years

Getting respect as a male fa!

No I'm not some i haven't responded to directly but everyone that has sent me a message I listen to. If they said I didn't listen then I must have forgot that they asked not that I don't care. I respect if someone's going to ask me to stop. Because ik plenty of people who have asked that I remember and don't reblog there stuff if I see it.
10 years
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